Katharina Stertz

dear phone

my daily companion

bound on my hands

I cannot escape 

the light

it mesmerises me 

to stay awake

another hour 

to chat a little bit

with insomnia

living an illusion

for the whole night

how I used to do

I thought

it was pure

and inspiring

to watch

how fake lives

were made of

between fame

and self-obsession 

who wants to see 

behind the scenes 

nowadays 

when the light of disguise is

pretty bright

and outshining 

do you know

what they do

when your idols are alone

when the light isn’t shining 

on them for a moment

they are just people 

like you and me

my life would be 

so empty without you 

but I didn’t notice

you make it emptier 

just because 

I am distracting myself 

from my own loneliness

believing everything is better

somewhere else 

I see blurry faces 

on my screen 

leaving mean comments 

leaving an impression

an impact on my brain

and I wish

I wouldn’t care

what they say

I can ignore their messages

I can mute their voices

but my brain cannot unread them

they spend their time

to chose their words wisely

to make it feel like a gun 

pointing at my heart

I thought I could learn to get inspired 

by other creators and artists

but all I do is comparing

all those worthless numbers

with mine 

and the addiction

is drowning me 

for no reason

in a need 

to move out

to a virtual world 

an inner urge 

to expose my thoughts 

I need to confess that I was free 

without my phone